entrepreneurial spirit

in my new space i am jazzed-up and ready to go.  i have new ideas, new projects i want to work on-- our move has breathed new life into me and into my business.  i am excited for the new year and the new possibilities it brings.

AND i find myself dealing with a certain level of ptsd related to my business.  leftover responses and thoughts from a long struggle in a hard economy.

it has not been easy.

lately i have been hearing stories from many other entrepreneurs whose lives have been seriously affected by the last four years of economic hardship.  stories of people who have struggled to keep their businesses open, stories of people who have gone from 80 employees to 25, people who have not paid themselves in 4 years, and stories of people who have finally thrown in the towel.

this world that we are in-- the world of small business in an uncertain economy-- is a hard one.  those of us doing business through this time all bear the scars of trying to maintain our vision for what we do-- whether it is a creative vision, a scientific vision, or a socio-political vision-- in the midst of not ever quite having enough money to do it.   those of us who are still in business have been lucky to find creative ways to shift our businesses in ways that keep us afloat-- and yet we are marked by that process.

i think of my grandmother who came of age during the great depression-- and who was forever marked by that fact.  she saved everything in case she needed it someday, took incredible care of all her material possessions, and was pathologically frugal in her spending till the end of her life.  maybe those of us who have been doing business during this recession will also be changed by it forever.

the danger in being marked in this way is that we see less possibility.  that we lock doors for ourselves because we think them impossible to open.  somehow-- even in times of great hardship-- we have to continue to be open and allow expansive thinking.  we have to find ways to continue to connect to that part of ourselves that made us entrepreneurs to begin with-- that part of us that looks for and finds interesting, creative possibilities in the world.

whether that means continuing in the same business, or shifting to do something else altogether-- finding a way to continue with an entrepreneurial spirit seems like the only way to continue to be whole.

i'm working on it!




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