pushing back


lately people have been getting angry with me.  my former landlords got angry over rent i owed them when i moved out (but was trying to pay), a current business associate has gotten angry over the way i want to define our relationship (though i am trying to find ways to create peace between us)-- not people in my personal life but people tangential to my business world-- people who are dealing with me as i transition into a new business life.

i don't normally have a lot of anger in my life-- business or personal-- in fact i seek peace on all levels.  this new phase of anger has caught me off guard and made me wonder what i am doing differently to attract it.  but what i said above i think is the crux of it-- i have been going through a transition and i think it makes other people uncomfortable.

over the last year of trying to find the right space to move the shop to there was an enormous amount of legwork put in to researching other spaces, thinking very particularly about the future and what i want the business to look like-- because in my business MOVING or LACKING IN VISION for the future could be the death of things.  i 'tried on' a bunch of potential spaces for size-- i ran numbers, i sat on the front stoop at various times of day to watch the foot traffic, i talked to the neighbors and to my business friends about the space-- i imagined what it would be like to spend my days in these different options.  i created numerous different business plans-- spread sheets and all-- to show to myself what the various options would mean for my business and my life.

all of that legwork has paid off-- i feel strongly that i have made the right decision.  my new space suits me and what i want to do-- perfectly.

but finding the right path has meant a fair amount of pushing back against other people's definitions for me and my business.  it has meant at times re-definining for people what they want me to do-- sometimes in uncomfortable moments.  it has meant-- also-- finding ways to make it through the transitions that are in my best interest-- but not always in the best interest of the people around me.

none of that is going to be easy for everyone around me to deal with.

so i am trying to make my way through the anger-- recognizing that i have caused it even if i don't feel it myself.  i am in a growth period and stretching my wings, pushing my boundaries-- but at some point i will be on the other side of this process and things will settle down again!

happy wednesday and good luck in your own endeavors to push back.

-mary-moore.

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