i have been thinking about fear-- how being afraid can keep us from something that might be really important and wonderful.

fear of performing in public keeps some people from joining their high school musical;  fear of failure keeps some people from applying for some great job;  fear of being out of style or socially out-of-sync keeps some people from living with the paint colors that they are most drawn to;  fear of emotional pain or rejection keeps some people from opening the door to a relationship.

i tend not to live my life based on fear-- i know that life is never going to be perfect.  there are always going to be hard things-- sometimes these hard things can completely blind-side us-- knocking us back on our tushes.  i also know that these hard moments pass-- they are hard for a few days, or weeks-- or even for a period of a few years-- but they gradually get better until one day you wake up and realize you no longer have that tightness in your chest while making your tea.

so therefore WHY NOT step forward and try for that thing you really want?  why not show the world what kind of singing voice you have?  why not see if you can get that really great job?  why not paint your walls pink? and the relationship?  who ever heard of a relationship without joy?  pain as well, yes.  but amazing and wonderful joy is a natural part of that equation.  why not try for that?

i recently read a study (which was originally talked about in 'the atlantic') about the possibility of personalities changing over time in ways that help us to be more happy.  people who are stuck, psychologically, CAN find a way to change the way they see and react to the world-- in a way that allows them room to experience the happiness as well as the fear of life (for example).

and maybe then try out for community theater?




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