re-focusing a funk


i am a believer in the process of life.  that the goal is not to get somewhere-- but to be learning about ourselves and those around us along the way.

therefore-- maybe once a year i go through a crisis over what i do-- i feel unfocused, not particularly certain what direction i am headed, and pretty out of sorts with the shop world.  i think about changing things--drastically-- closing the shop, moving to iceland....  everything seems overwhelming, unsatisfying, and hard.

during these moments i need to take time to re-evaluate my life and think about what is working and what isn't.  because i have been doing this for a while, and because this happens pretty much on an annual basis, i have learned to just hang through it and let it happen.  it is not really a crisis-- more of an opportunity to re-focus my attention and my life-- but i might call it a 'funk'.

 i have found that if i can really let my mind wander freely over all the possibilities-- to be okay with considering all options--  i will imagine the shop as a different kind of place, i will imagine my schedule dramatically changed, i will imagine closing or selling the shop, i will imagine myself doing something totally different-- i will imagine everything i can think of that might make me feel better!  eventually i come around to some clarity-- of purpose or vision-- a sense that i really do know what i am doing and why.  and the new vision is not so different from where i have been-- just a little altered, and a bit more focussed-- and packed with all kinds of new energy.

i have been in one of these periods of re-evaluation these last couple of months-- one of these funks-- kind of unfocused and a little bit afraid.  and i have been considering all options.  but yesterday the clarity came rushing in.  the catalysts were a chance photo in a food magazine and a comment from a friend-- unrelated and neither particularly momentous-- but little things that helped me to see a new vision for myself and the shop.  and it is gonna be so pretty!

so the process continues-- and i am happy.

-mary-moore.


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