some days it is a question of faith.

i am not talking about religious faith, but i am talking about having faith that everything is going to be okay.

we tend to spend a lot of energy worrying-- are we going to get everything done, will our families arrive home safely, will the check arrive on time, AND will the paint color be the right one? but most of the time the things we worry about are things we can actually do nothing about-- things that are just going to happen the way that they are going to happen. OR they are things that we just have to trust will work out-- paint color, for example, is usually fine. every now and then once you put it on the wall you realize it is awful-- but there is no way to know that until you do it. at which point, you have to decide whether to live with it or change it. which, actually, is a pretty simple decision when you think about it.

when i was working on this house i worried myself sick-- literally-- over every detail. it is an 1831 farmhouse that we carefully gutted from one end to the other-- and then added this barn. i measured, drew, re-measured, re- drew-- spent hours staring at the empty space where it was going to go-- it was one of the hardest projects i have ever worked on. AND-- i got things wrong. these windows, for example, were originally planned for an enclosed porch-- but when they arrived they were the wrong size (meaning-- i had ordered the wrong size)! i pondered, worried, and thought-- and then i re-drew the as-yet-un-built barn to include them, and went and ordered more windows in the correct size for the enclosed porch.

and now? it looks like it was meant to be this way all along.

which perhaps it was--

my mantra these day?

all will be well.

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